An Open Letter to Snow

The blue areas represent snow. Cool.

Dear Snow,

Where were you all winter? We missed you dearly whenever we thought of skiing, sledding, or snow-angel making. Without your presence, we here at Smith grew accustomed to dry sidewalks that don’t smell like soy sauce. It’s Leap Day now, and Spring Break is in almost two weeks. Honestly, snow, you had your chance and you are no longer welcome here. We all enjoyed your little Leap Day prank but this has got to stop.

Sincerely,

minkandvelvet

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LIST OF THINGS VOLUME VI: Things to do on Leap Day

Leap Day

If you haven’t seen the new episode of 30 rock, a) WHY NOT, and b) you can do anything you want to on February 29th because it doesn’t count AND a bald man with a mustache and blue suit thinks you should! What’s on my docket tomorrow, you ask? Here’s a few:

Tap dance my way into Grab n Go. I live in a Friedman now, and I’ve been trying to plan a diversion so I can get a free bag of chips without anyone asking to see my OneCard. I think this free daypass would be a good way to test the tap dancing option. Other ideas include: covering my face in glitter, wearing my nuditard (nude-colored unitard), bringing some ducks in with me, or only speaking gibberish if confronted. Or, of course, I could do these all at once. And while I was there, I’d pick up at least 3 big salads and 3 sandwiches.

Streak Chapin Lawn. I’ve streaked several spaces at Smith, but I think we can all agree that this stretch of green would be the most daring place to bound around in the buff. I’ll take that challenge. Read the rest of this entry »


Jezebel notes Anne’s explicit self contradiction

hmm...

“is she saying her objectionable comments about poor people were never meant to be read by actual poor people?”


SEXtravaganza Presents…Sinclair Sexsmith!


Anne Spurzem responds at last

and says she didn’t mean it.  Or, didn’t mean for it to be published.

but she's not a lolcat so it's a little harder to forgive.


Conspiracy Theory Series

As many of you have noticed YouTube has been realllllyyyyy slow this week. While moaning and groaning about this at dinner, a dear friend of mine informs me that Smith is spying on us. Rumors have been circulating that Smith College is monitoring what we are watching on YouTube (think Patriot Act circa 2001).  I thought about what they might be looking for, and decided on the following options:

Part A

1. Anne Spurzem has hacked into our system and is slowing down our YouTube viewing pleasure.

2. A right wing minority attempting to watch sexy videos of Santorum

3. Bootleg versions of Mad Men. (It is a threat to institutional sovereignty and gender roles). See option 1.

Whatever purpose this surveillance serves, they will be disappointed, because this is really what we are using YouTube for: (if it ever loads)

1. The Creep 

2. YES Dance 

3. Drunk Histories: Ben Franklin

4. Slow Loris 

5. Double Rainbow 

6. You’re A Mean One, Newt Gingrich (Also See Option 1 in Part A).

CTC: Is this true? 🙂


Public Enemy Number 1

 

Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For You?

If anyone wasn’t convinced…Anne Spurzem is now public enemy number 1. Her letter is now featured on THE HUFFINGTON POST!!!!!!!!!  

Congrats Anne, you have successfully thwarted every plan for your future. What a shining example of the need to be careful about what you say 🙂 The Huff Post might find you…..